So here’s a pretty heavy question for all of you out there:
Do any of you have parents who actually speak to each other any more?
Because mine sure as hell don’t. My mom or dad used to come home from work and they’d actually bother to ask how their days had been, they’d actually hug each other, there’d be physical contact, lovey-touchy-feely grown up stuff. When I was little I used to love squashing my way between them and attempting to gain some of the attention too. You know, family stuff.
Now? My dad comes home from work, showers, goes downstairs and sits on his computer for the evening until he goes to bed. He drinks his goddamned beer, and while he’s never been drunk and isn’t an alcoholic, I wish he wouldn’t waste his damn money on it. If he comes up stairs, it’s to make dinner, and more often then not it’s just for himself. My parents can go weeks without speaking a single, fucking word to each other, and it doesn’t so much as interrupt the flow of their tied, but very much separate lives.
While I have no doubt that they both love my brother and I, they don’t act like, or even pretend to act like, they still love each other. And how the hell is an eighteen year old supposed to bring that subject up with a parent. “Hey Mom, how was your day? Oh, good. Do you still love Dad or not?” Not that I’d expect much of an answer to that anyways.
Honestly though. What is the point in caring for other people, in making friends and best friends, in forging lasting relationships with people, in putting your trust and faith in someone else, in hoping they’ll be able to do the same with you? Why bother to let yourself fall in love, when the biggest role models in your life are rapidly falling apart? What is the point in letting someone else make you so completely and totally happy when your own parents do nothing but consistently make each other unhappy?
So suffice it to say, I’m taking a hiatus. I’ll check emails; I’ll check text messages, but I need to get the hell away. I need to think, to figure out what I want to do with myself and my life before living in this house sucks what little love of life I have left clean out of me. Before I’m done all together.

-Alyssa
<sub>"All that I'm after is a life full of laughter, as long as I'm laughing with you. And I'm thinking that all that still matters is love ever-after, after the life we've been through. 'Cause I know there's no life after you."
---
R.I.P. Jody McKimmon January '91 - April '08
---
Books:
2009's Reads Con’t
26. A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini
27. Dear John by Nicholas Sparks
28. Sweet Dream Baby by Sterling Watson
29. Salem Falls by Jodi Picoult
30. The Flying Troutmans by Miriam Toews
31. Three Day Road by Joseph Boyden
Currently Reading:
1. The Gathering by Anne Enright
Soon To Be Read:
1. The Summoning by Kelly Armstrong
2. The Outlander by Gil Adamson
3. Brisingr by Christopher Paolini
4. Atonement by Ian McEwan
5. The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini
6. Into The Wild by Jon Krakauer
7. Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert
8. The Children Of Hurin by J.R.R. Tolkien
9. Annie Freeman's Fabulous Traveling Funeral by Kris Radish
10. The Ambler Warning by Robert Ludlum
11. Any Known Blood by Lawrence Hill
12. Ice Song by Kirsten Imani Kasai
13. The Pretender’s Crown by C.E. Murphy
14. Mister B. Gone by Clive Barker
15. The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown
16. Thorn by Vena Cork
17. Red Dog Red Dog by Patrick Lane
18. The Glassblower Of Murano by Marina Fiorato
19. The Hour I First Believed Wally Lamb
---
Other dA Accounts:
- My written work can be found here.
Friends:

Clubs:</sub>